Glossary

Albert –The current president of Swami's and the rider of many fine bikes.

bodonkadonk –A big thick bootyliscious grabtastic ass, mainly used as slang for the female booty but in the case of cyclists, both male and females can have a bodonkadonk. Useage: "Dude did you see the size of that dudes bodonkadonk as he blew past me on the sprint?"

bro deal –To be "hooked up" on a great or favorable discount when buying something, as though you are getting a preferred discount offered only to employees or family members. i.e. "I got a bro deal on a new frame and set of wheels...sweet!"

While bro deals are sweet, there is a protocol that goes along with the "discount" which usually involves 1) having to wait patiently for the goods (i.e. the guy that can get you the deal is in France working the tour, so he can't ship stuff until August at the earliest), 2) once you get the goods you won't deal with the original manufactures warranty procedure, or support staff, instead you will work the "bro deal" in reverse, going back to your "bro" and having them deal with the warranty issue, or support issue, 3) not everyone gets the "bro deal", if you got it feel good about it, but that doesn't mean you can now pay it forward and give that same "bro deal" to all your friends, 4) "bro deals" are generally for limited products (quite often good stuff) but there is usually a limited time frame and limited supply, so in order to take advantage of it, you must act quickly. 5) like the clothing czar below don't bug or pester your "bro" about delivery, just make an occasional inquiry, every month or so just to stay in touch, be patient, 6) Never EVER...b*tch about a 'bro deal' in public. No matter how bad you think your being treated, just suck it up, you're getting a screaming deal and in exchange for that you might lose a little on the service end. If you want timely delivery, service with a smile, and the ability to call the 1-800-help-me number , then figure on paying full price!, 7) Complaining about a "bro deal" in public will pretty much ensure that you will dropped from the "bro list" for future "bro deals".

Clothing Czar –The dude that is in charge of clothing (kits) distribution. Approach this person with great reverence, bottles of beer preferably from Belgium and never ask when are the kits going to be here? Our current King of Kits is Steve Masterson.

The Five Topics – Cycling, Sports, Women (if you're a dude) - Men (if you're a dudette), Cars, Travel/Leisure. These are the generally accecpt 5 topics at coffee before or after a ride. Keep the conversation to any of these topics and fun will prevail.

The Forbidden Topics – 1) Politics and 2) Religion. The two aforementioned topics are forbiden during any coffee stop or on any bike ride. If the conversation happens to delve into either 1) or 2) then someone must call a point of order and redirect the topic of conversation to one of the Five approved topics. This keeps everyone happy! Exception: It is perfectly ok to talk about Francine Busby especially when Dave Callender is around.

Fred – 1) n. a person who spends a lot of money on his bike and clothing, but still can't ride. "What a fred -- too much Lycra and titanium and not enough skill." Synonym for poser. Occasionally called a "barney".
2) n. a person who has a mishmash of old gear, does't care at all about technology or fashion, didn't race or follow racing, etc. Often identified by chainring marks on white calf socks. Used by "serious" roadies to disparage utility cyclists and touring riders, especially after these totally unfashionable "freds" drop the "serious" roadies on hills because the "serious" guys were really posers. This term is from road touring and, according to popular myth, "Fred" was a well-known grumpy old touring rider, who really was named Fred.

Fred Award– Annual award given at the Swami's summer BBQ. The Fred award is given to Swami's members or Freinds of Swami's for performances of dubious distinction during that year's racing season. The award comes with a trophy and a uniform with a cape! (that says FRED) see picture. The Fred award winner then has to publicly wear the Fred Suit for an entire group ride.

2007 - Troy Hureta - For riding one less lap than was scheduled at San Luis Rey Road Race
2007*- Steve Cahill - Amidst a cloud of controversy Steve should have won the '07 Fred Award but didn't... In the period of one week Steve tangled with Kam during a sprint at the end of a group ride both riders went down, later that same week during a group ride Steve rolled...errr ploughed through a orange bike lane closed sign while futzing with his Power Tap computer, causing him to abandon his ship and hit the deck. Both infractions are seriously Fred worthy but some how when the votes were counted, Troy got to wear the Fred Suit. Odd but true!
2006 - Peter Plaisance - For getting his hand caught between the down tube and and rear wheel while flying down Del Dios Hwy, causing his rear wheel to lock up and Peter to crash. Luckily he was unhurt and survived the incident.
2005 - Matt Bessica - For doing an extra lap during a Time Trial at Fiesta Island. The official results stated that Matt rode an extra lap.

FOS – Friend Of Swamis - Friends of Swami's are are cyclist (sometimes even non-cyclists) who are drawn to the guru aura but never officially join Swami's. Over time and through participation in club activities these shishyas (disciples) will earn the title of Friend of Swami's. This title earns the shishya respect and invites to Swami's soirees and secret rituals. Example: Island Boy Racing is a long time FOS

Gene Kelley – Founding father and fixture of the Tuesday and Thursday morning ride. Not only did Gene start the very popular Tuesday Thursday morning ride, he is a very wise man and knowledgeable on many subjects, including cars, cycling, style, wine, business, and life in general.

Gloss – 1 ) background information on something or someone 2) to give a nickname to someone. As a rule you can not self "gloss" yourself, gloss is earned by reputation, or by doing something note worthy. If your name shows up on the glossary page, you have been officially "glossed".

Island Boy Racing – Island Boy Racing a.k.a. IBR - Local cycling team and long time FOS.

La Costa Coffee – La Costa Coffee End point of the Gene Kelley Tuesday / Thursday morning ride.

Nytro – Nytro Bike Store Starting location of the swamis ride

Pendleton Ride – Pendleton Ride aka the Wednesday ride

Sponsor –a person, firm, organization, etc., that finances and buys the advertising space on our cycling kits to advertise a product, or service etc. Cycling team sponsors are near and dear to all of our hearts, here are a few simple rules to keep in mind when riding / dealing with sponsors. 1) Buy stuff from our sponsors and/or refer biz to our sponsors, 2) When being interviewed on the podium after winning a race make sure you make ample mention all of our sponsors, you know, NASCAR style, "My Cannondale SuperSix was just perfect today, along with my SockGuy socks, proved to be unbeatable..." you get the idea. 3) On training rides if a sponsor is riding with the group and they happen to get a flat, it is advisable that you stop and help them chase back on. 4) When wearing the team kit with the sponsors name all over it, try to avoid breaking traffic laws (blatantly running red lights), or being a general knucklehead, sponors like press but not for that kind of stuff.

Swami – Swami is a primarily Hindu honorific, loosely akin to "master". It is derived from the Sanskrit language and means "owner of oneself", denoting complete mastery over instinctive and lower urges. It is a title added to one's name to donote learning and, of course, mastery of a specific field of knowledge, most often religious and/or spiritual but in this case pertains to mastery of cycling.

Swamis Ride – Saturday morning club ride that starts from Nytro in Encinitas at 8:00am

W5 – Wiley Presents – Wild Will’s Wacky Wet Wednesday Workout - Started by the unsung heroes of the Wednesday night Mtn Bike ride, three beer drinking mtn bikers had a dream – How to expand the consciousness of narrow thinking road riders and enable them to grow into Renaissance cyclist (RC). The W5 was the answer. W5 rides are on a rainy days when the sirens of “Wet” cried out and W5 riders come out. See bottom of rides page for Rain Ride.

Wednesday Ride – Wednesday Ride aka the Pendleton ride

WII Bowling – A very dangerous video game.

Yahoo Group – Swami's has a 'group' on yahoo.com that is basically an email list where members share information about cycling, group rides, swap stories, and engage in dialoge about the above. You must be a member (opt-in) to the group. To get an invite to join the Swami's yahoo group click here.

Famous Yahoo Group Topics – Some of the most interesting Yahoo Group topics over the years have provided many hours of fun reading and for some a chance to practice the writting skills. Who can forget topics like:

Which is better tubular tires or clinchers? - During the summer of 2006 the debate started, and then raged on for nearly a full year. There was never a clear winning side as is often the case with these types of debates. But there were lots of debate both pro and con and many testimonitals put forth (mostly from a one and sometimes two very fanatical participants). The only sure outcome was that it did cause many a member to learn all about how to add a spam filter to their email clients.

Francine Busby Incident - During the 2006 California Special Election to fill the seat vacated by Randy "Duke" Cunningham, Swami elder Dave Callender attended a town hall meeting where candidate Busby spoke. Up on leaving the meeting our esteemed elder sat down in front of his computer and typed a thoughtful message about what he had heard at the meeting and related that interest to the yahoo group. Now if you have read The Forbidden Topics glossary entry above you know that politics is a major No-No, but somehow the elder thought that in the interest of public awareness he would send a message to the yahoo group and with one click of the send button on his email he set off the electronic equivalent of a riot inside of the yahoo group. For the most part, group members sat on the sidelines and watched while several members got down and dirty, exchanged barbed comments and various "smack" emails to the point there was a good deal of name calling and hurt feelings. The Francine Busby Incident stands as proof that one should never cross the Forbidden Topics rule.